Okay, so this feels like a rather pathetic offering. Trouble is, I'm reading a ridiculous quantity of fic with characters who are not psychotic, and it's making it hard to stay in Mulder's head. *sigh* Maybe someone should rec me some good crack. XF or HL will do.... Those are, after all, my "seriously jacked up fandoms."
So, uh, sorry.
"Your self-image just got a little disrupted. I'm not sure where you got that crap that was floating in your head, but you just now realized it might not be true. It won't go away immediately, but you can remind yourself whenever you start thinking of yourself that way what you really are: My precious pet."
He nodded and snuffled. "Yes, Master."
I stroked his hair and held him.
I lay on the couch, watching the dust motes in a sunbeam. Mulder was at work and I'd already dusted and vacuumed. Idly I toyed with the leather bands on my wrists -- both wrists now that my cast was removed.
After the "athletic" day Mulder had spent home with me nearly two weeks ago, I'd expected regular -- perhaps daily -- sexcapades. I'd been wrong. I did spend time on my knees, particularly mealtimes and any other time I needed a reminder.
Not that I was rebellious, but the reminders helped me focus on the fact that my master wanted me. He chose me.
That's why I wore the wrist cuffs: not a reminder not to run -- I no longer had any desire to leave -- but a reminder that I was chosen; I was cherished; I was loved. I may not have gotten fucked as often as I expected, but my master made time for us each day to watch movies or play Horse or just make out, and he held me close every night. He fed me by hand and played with my hair. He praised me, complimented my work, and kissed my like I meant something.
And when he did fuck me.... If I had held any illusions that I had any of the control, I would have called it making love. I wanted it to be making love. Since my cast came off, I waited anxiously for my master to let me pleasure him, but he hadn't yet given me that privilege.
I glanced at the clock and got up to start dinner.